POMMELIEN THIJS

Before announcing our headline act for Saturday 1 August, we would first like to mention a curious message that just rolled off our fax machine: the Ministry of Linguistic Affairs announced today that all words that rhyme with “appelsien” (orange) will be officially abolished. No more Francine, Carolien, ongezien and negentien. They have all been driven off the linguistic road, into the ravine of linguistic redundancy, and replaced by pommelien, the word of words.  Anyway, our new headliner. On Saturday 1 August, none other than... (keeps the suspense going for a moment, drums both index fingers on the table for dramatic effect) POMMELIEN THIJS! Yes! We wanted to shout out that Pommelien's rapid rise is unprecedented, but we're not allowed to do that anymore. So instead, we'll say: Pommelien's steep rise is truly pommelien! Pommelien is everywhere, and she excels everywhere. Not just on stage or on screen, this woman can do anything.  You know why Lotte is putting a stop to Pommelien riding the Tour de France Femmes, right? After forty metres of Mont Ventoux, they won't see her again until afterwards in the canteen, waving in her yellow jersey. Let her take part in Komen Eten and after the second commercial break, Michelin will call to tell her she can come and collect her three stars. ‘Gedoe’, her LP from 2025, is one such marvel. An album that received ten out of ten everywhere, according to the new language rule, and that made her bigger than the Sportpaleis can still hold. 'Atlas' is pretty much the Dutch-language equivalent of “Let it be”, “Bohemian rhapsody” and “Like a virgin” of the twenty-first century. A song so special that the Tom Waes of the year 2375, in the remake of “Het verhaal van Vlaanderen”, will devote a double episode to it. That album also includes “Het beste moet nog komen”, “Ben je klaar?”, “Ik moet gaan” and “Het midden”. That's more gold medals than the average set of vertebrae can handle. Whoever our headliners will be in the coming years, no one is as big as Pommelien. Will we ever book anyone else who is this good? Is the best really yet to come? Perhaps. Or as the new rules dictate: will we ever book anyone as good again? Is the best really yet to come? Pommelien!  Service announcement: ask a Lenny Kravitz fan who waited too long to order tickets how they feel about the merciless SOLD OUT sign on our website.  Order on time!